Life transitions & identity counselling in Eastbourne and online
Has something changed - or do you have the sense that it needs to?
A transition can be obvious: retirement, a career change, a bereavement, a relationship ending, children leaving home, moving somewhere new, menopause, a diagnosis, discovering you're neurodivergent, exploring your sexuality or a change in health. At other times nothing dramatic may have happened, but the life that used to fit no longer feels quite right.
Questions about identity often sit alongside these changes: Who am I now? What matters to me? What do I want the next part of my life to look like?
I'm Nicki Wakefield, the integrative counsellor and coach behind Perspective Practice. Life transitions and identity are areas I feel particularly drawn to because major change has been a significant part of my own mid-life experience.
I know what it's like when life changes in more than one way
In mid-life, I went through a period of significant change that affected far more than my career. Relationships and friendships changed, my sense of who I was shifted, and many of the things that had previously given my life structure and direction were changing at the same time.
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It was unsettling, sometimes painful, and ultimately transformative. Counselling was an important part of making sense of what was changing, understanding myself differently and finding my way through it.
I know personally that a major transition isn't necessarily one neat event. When one part of life changes, it can raise questions about belonging, relationships, work, values, identity and what you want the next part of your life to be.
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Counselling and coaching through life transitions
Life transitions are perhaps the clearest example of why I chose training that specifically integrates counselling and coaching.
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A transition can involve something that needs to be felt, understood or grieved. It can also involve decisions, possibilities and the question of what comes next.
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Counselling gives us room to understand what is changing and what you may be leaving behind. The coaching dimension means that, when you're ready, we can also look forwards - clarifying what matters to you, exploring possibilities and considering what you might want next.
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We don't have to rush towards a new plan before understanding what this change means to you. Equally, we don't have to stop at insight when you're ready to move forward.
What a life transition can bring up
Change can bring excitement and possibility alongside grief, anxiety, anger, relief or uncertainty. Even a transition you've chosen can unsettle your sense of who you are, what matters to you and what you want next.
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You might find yourself questioning things that previously felt settled - your relationships, priorities, identity or the direction you want your life to take.
Identity doesn't only change once
We can build a strong sense of identity around work, relationships, family roles, sexuality, gender, where we live, our social world, being fit and healthy, or being the capable person others rely on.
When one of those shifts, it can create space for questions that may have been easy to avoid before. Sometimes that feels destabilising. Sometimes it brings relief. Often it's both.
Counselling can give you somewhere to explore those questions without needing to produce an immediate answer.
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As things become clearer, you may want to consider choices: a new direction, different boundaries, changes in relationships, a different relationship with work, or simply how you want to spend your time and energy.